Aime Ayrehart on LinkedIn: How empathetic are you? I would consider myself a receiving and… (2024)

We're taught from a young age to think before we speak.Well, at least some of us are (and it shows 😜).Most of the time, that's a pretty good lesson to learn.It's all too easy to say things in the heat of the moment.Or without fully considering the feelings of those around us.Alternatively, you might find it easier to be polite instead of honest.You might dislike confrontation and prefer to keep quiet even when someone does everything they can to get a reaction out of you. 😒Being polite or quiet can save you from a number of disastrous situations but it can also leave you with a painful build up of unspoken words.In my last post, I spoke about writing to no one in particular.But there are times when you need to tell someone how you feel directly, regardless of whether you know them of not, even if they're not there in person. 😓You might need to tell them how much you miss them.Or how angry they made you.Or what they did to make you sad.Or why they were the best thing that has ever happened to you.Or the truth about why you couldn't rely on them as much as you wanted to.There may be many things you want to let them know and sometimes, for whatever reason, you can't do this face to face.So you should write to them instead. ✍️Address the journal entry to them. Call them whatever you want.Write as if they're right there in front of you.Don't hold back. Don't be polite. Don't stay silent.The point of writing like this is to drain the emotions from inside your soul like pus from a wound. Bleed all over that paper and don't worry about trying to make it look like a painting. 🩸Personally, this is my favourite kind of journaling.It could end up being yours too. 👌I'll talk about writing to yourself in my next post.Become a pro at ranting to people who aren't there by following me and reading more of my posts 😂.^V^🖖🏽 I'm Sakinah, a Soul Coach with a deep love for words, both written and spoken.🗣 I help healthcare professionals with poor mental health escape their cage of silence.💌 DM me to book a short clarity session and learn more about my therapeutic listening and writing services.#SoulCoach#ReshapeYourSilence#PainIntoPeace#MentalHealth

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We are all expected to know how to do relationships... How to be a good 'spouse' or know how to 'date', BUT...We have never had any education or training on how to do it, so no wonder why we find them challenging at times... Have you ever wondered why two people can experience the same event but have completely different interpretations of what happened? Perhaps one feels loneliness, where the other feels anger? Our perceptions of reality are not as objective as we might believe. In fact, our minds play a significant role in shaping how we perceive and interpret the world around us. Think of it as wearing a pair of tinted glasses that colour our experiences.Have you every thought to yourself, why does he/she do that? Why do I do that or think that? Why would my husband/wife think that? Why don’t they understand me? How did that go so wrong?Before we dive into the tinted glasses analogy, our subconscious mind operates beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, working tirelessly to process information and make sense of our experiences.It influences our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, often without our conscious knowledge.One of the primary factors that contribute to our tinted perceptions is our belief system which was hard-wired and created in our developmental stage.What once served us and helped protect us, is most probably out-of-date for our adult lives. But, this immature and normally unhealthy coping mechanism still believes it will keep us safe and protect us. BECAUSE, ultimetly, being vulnerable with a partner is scary. We may feel emotionally unsafe, so we stay quite, walk on eggshells or build resentment which later erupts in anger. If you would like to start unpacking so you can live life more consciously and less on auto-pilot...and let's face it, be a better romantic partner because we have worked on our 50% of the relationship.Get in touch and book your 20minute discovery call.www.charlottespurway.com#psychologist #psychotherapist #therapist #couplestherapist #divorcesupport #breakupsupport #relationshipcoach

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We often have conversations about emotions and how we feel in the sense that 'that made me so mad' or 'I'm so confused about how I feel'... Most of what both young and old people come to therapy for is, in a sense help with emotional regulation of some kind... More often than not what is missing from the conversation around 'how to emotionally regulate' is how to actually TOLERATE the felt sense. Emotions aren't actually real, they're just words that we attach (or attempt to attach) to an experience that we feel in our bodies, about a thing that happened either as an internal, or external experience. A part of why we feel so confused about how to talk about our emotions and our feelings is because we ALL have in some way or another been taught from a very young age to deny, or push away felt sense. "You'll be fine, it's not that bad" = don't feel pain"It's cold outside put your jumper back on" = don't listen to your temperature sensations."you're not hungry, you're bored" = don't listen to or feel hunger sensations. "Stop wriggling and sit still" = do not allow your nervous system to regulate the way it feels natural, go against the sensation, or push it away. And on and on we go... We cannot selectively numb, when we numb sensations, we numb feelings, when we numb feelings we numb our ability to stay with something long enough to make sense of it and figure out what it means or what to call it. By the time I get to work with adults, or young adults, many of them are numbing with substances, self-harming, feeling suicidal or more. MOST are so consumed with their thoughts, which has successfully kept them from feeling much at all, that it can be hard to even string a sentence together to explain why they're in my office. Start with noticing your body, allow sensations, sit with them, be curious about what your body has to say. Allow kids to feel things, don't argue their experience, after all what could be so harmful about them learning what cold feels like? Let them tell you they're hungry, let them be hungry ( notice I haven't told you you must believe them, or give in) - ask yourself why you are activated by their feelings... Food for thought 💜

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ARE YOU EMOTIONALLY Secure? Take this Harvard-Approved Psychologist's Test and DISCOVER YOUR STRENGTH!Who's in for an INJECTION OF RAW, UNFILTERED POWER? We're talking about EMOTIONAL SECURITY, a key factor to maintain our mental health.This often-overlooked concept SUPERCHARGES our sense of empowerment, authenticity, and safety. It's the driving force behind our gratitude, creativity, and freedom. Now, the TEST OF TRUTH: 1. Can you dance with opposing views WITHOUT losing your cool?2. Do you set and implement HEALTHY BOUNDARIES like a boss?3. Can you stand tall, owning your mistakes with GRACE?4. Are you fiercely in tune with your CORE VALUES and beliefs?5. Can you ride the wave of negative emotions with RESPECT?6. Are you open to criticism, ready to evolve and GROW?7. Are you a LIFE SCHOLAR, continuously embracing change?8. Can you hit pause on IMPULSIVE REACTIONS?9. Are you unwavering in trusting your resilience to BEAT life's challenges? A 'YES' to even a SINGLE question means you're ARMORED UP! Emotional security might not always be comfortable, but it SMASHES open doors to authenticity, resilience, and meaningful relationships. The more SECURE we are in ourselves, the more we SAVOR life's journey. HUNGRY for more BOLD insights on emotional security? Check Dr. Cortney Warren, PhD, ABPP's work and her book "Lies we we tell ourselves, the psychology of self-deception".

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I have made the bully my friend! 🤝Developing into a psychologist deserves credit in this journey of befriending the bully. ✨Anxiety, restlessness, and all those uneasy sensations used to plague me whenever they appeared. However, things took a turn when I allowed them to exist rather than resisting.🤸🏻♀️Back then, my first response was to get away from it ASAP! 😩I saw them as harmful, particularly when I felt it in my stomach. I labeled them as 'awful' and did everything in my power to make them stop. (Naive me!)I struggled with breathing techniques because they were commonly recommended for calming down while I shared an unlikable dynamic with them. 🙃Now, I find myself wondering, from the other side of this experience, what was so frightening about it that I never allowed it to simply be? Today, I can discuss this while referring to it as "being on the other side" because I've discovered what works and how it works. So, what helped me? 👩🏻🏫The first step was acceptance, no longer running away.The Second was to allow me to feel, how it felt and showed up in my body, this is where I felt a little autonomy over it and the courage to deal with it.Next came the questioning phase! I began to ask myself: ◾What is this feeling? ◾What message is it trying to convey? ◾Are there related emotions? ◾What triggered this sensation? ◾Did something specific lead to it? With practice, I started finding answers :)Lastly, I delved into identifying triggers 🤔It was a concept I had heard and read about but didn't quite grasp until I began journaling. This process helped me recognize triggers, although it took some time before I truly immersed myself in them. And it was frustrating at times because I wanted to master this process while there were times when I was still struggling to find answers. Ah, the importance of patience! 😅This was my path 🌻What about yours? What strategies or experiences have helped you in your journey?

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7 Questions for an Appreciative LifeA way to happiness, health, and even sleeping better.KEY POINTS(1)It is easy to fall into the trap of focusing too much on irritating but ultimately trivial things in life.(2)Research has shown the power of gratitude and appreciation in promoting well-being, health, and positivity.(3)Find a way to remind yourself to stay appreciative of the good and truly important things in your life.MAINToday I was complaining about something very trivial when my partner turned to me and reminded me that right now I have little to complain about, and I would be better off feeling a bit more appreciation. "Isn’t that what you teach everyone else in your positive psychology book?" she chided me in a way that reminded me to practise more of what I preach.Read more on psychologytoday"https://lnkd.in/eAatStyd"

WELCOME TO MY WEEKLY NEWSLETTERI invite you to subscribe to my weekly newsletter which will deliver exclusive information, ideas & special offers related to psychology, coaching, emotional & mental wellbeing to your inbox.It is a great way of staying in touch & connecting with me. Please Subscribe by clicking the link in the comment box. This is not just another newsletter you are signing up for.I respect your time and your inbox as much as I respect mine. That's why I will only share emails with you that I believe will add value to your journey of cultivating authenticity, resilience, balance, emotional strength, light-heartedness, love, purpose, success & fulfilment.I select the themes and topics of my newsletter with you in mind and I will invite you into a dialogue, conversation & meaningful connection with me.Therefore, I will leave you with questions to reflect on and resources to use - so you can gain valuable insights and expand your mindset.I enjoy reading and responding to your emails, so please drop me a line with your thoughts, feelings and reflections that come up for you in relation to the questions and resources in the weekly newsletter. And if you're interested, I will be happy to support you in taking your explorations further in a private, curious, relaxed, mutually engaged (free of charge) conversation."We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them". Albert EinsteinIn the spirit of Albert Einstein, we all can evolve our thinking and re/solve our struggles and burdens most powerfully in connection with others.It gives me great pleasure to connect with you in this way. Feel free to share this post with anyone you think would benefit. Kirsten

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Are you an empath? Webster's Dictionary defines an "empath" as "one who experiences the emotions of others; a person who has empathy for others."I disagree with this definition, as it is missing one key component: choice.Having met and worked with thousands of empaths for over a decade in the field as an intuitive business strategist and Reiki Master-Teacher, I can tell you how I'd define what it means to be an empath: "one who experiences the physical and emotional feelings of others; a person who has a natural heightened sense of spontaneous, involuntary empathy for others."You can choose to have empathy for others; it's a mental exercise in practicing deliberate compassion.Empaths don't *choose* to experience others' physical and emotional feelings - they *catch* them, due to exposure, similarly to how you can catch a cold by hanging around someone who says they're fine, but your throat starts to tickle after you talk to them for a while.Any empath will tell you they're "an emotional sponge" - they go about the day picking up on and absorbing physical feelings and emotional feelings of the people they work with, especially negative ones, so that by the end of the day their joints hurt, they have a headache, they feel angry or anxious, all after starting the day feeling perfectly fine.As children, empaths learn that what matters most is how others feel, because when others feel bad, they feel bad. They can't shut it out; they're helpless against the negative atmosphere. As a child empath, all you know is that your head and body hurts when mommy is sad or when daddy yells, so, Child-Mind makes a decision to help out mommy or make daddy happy, so your body can feel better.To cope, empaths in childhood learned to please others to survive a "bad feeling" environment, thinking, "if I can make them feel better, I can be safe. How everyone else feels is most important. I got to make sure everyone else is ok, so I can be safe."How the empath feels is a non-issue. It's all about surviving and managing others' feelings. But then empaths grow up, and continue this survival and coping behavioral pattern of people-pleasing in relationships and end up getting themselves into greater pain with low to no self-esteem, abusive relationships and not having a voice of their own.This trickles over to their performance at work or in their businesses, where they chronically undercharge, don't ask for help or can't delegate, and are too scared to sell their services, even though they are exceptionally gifted at delivering results. ...sound familiar at all? If yes, type "YES THAT'S ME" in the comments below.We empaths create safe spaces for others, and don't include ourselves in that space. The time to change that is NOW.

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Take a moment to reflect. Discover the importance of prioritizing your emotional well-being amid life's demands. Explore "How Are You, Really?" - a self-guided check-in method to navigate your emotions and initiate positive changes in your life.

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