Babysitting is a lot harder than it sounds, particularly if the kid needs anything My sister is going on vacation for a week soon, and isn’t taking her 2-year-old daughter (Elise) with her. My sister still lives at home with me and our parents, and normally they would be the ones to look after Elise when my sister is out but they’re working the week that she’ll be away during so they aren’t an option for during the day. My mother came up to me recently and asked how I would feel about looking after Elise for the week during the day until they arrive home from work, and I told her I wouldn’t want to because I have no idea how to look after a toddler and I don’t want to be with her for that length of time. She said that was okay, and didn’t mention anything about it after. She must’ve told my sister because she pretty much stormed into my room and asked me why I don’t want to look after Elise. I told her the same thing I told my mother, and she started trying to make me feel bad or something by asking me why I wouldn’t want to spend time with my niece if I love her and stuff like that. I told her I don’t care what she says because I wasn’t doing it and she said I was being selfish by not doing this after everything she’s done for me, and that she’s stuck for a babysitter now because of me. I just told her she should’ve thought about that before she decided to book a vacation, and she left. owls_and_cardinals wrote: NTA, you're exactly right. Not wanting to be responsible for a toddler all day long for a week straight (if not more, seeing that you live there) makes perfect sense, and it does not mean you don't love your niece. It's fairly transparent. Entitled sister who is highly dependent on her parents wants to go on vacation, and doesn't understand why others aren't willing to bend over backwards to make that happen for her. She's a parent. Childcare responsibilities, including lining up an appropriate and qualified sitter, are solely hers and Elise's dad's. OP responded: I think part of the reason she’s mad is because she probably thought I would do it for free and she wouldn’t have to pay for a babysitter lol. CandylandCanada wrote:"AITA for refusing to babysit my niece while my sister goes on vacation?"
The internet was opinionated.
NTA.
Here's a little game that I like to play: I take the issue, stick a big red bow on it, and hand it back to the person who created it. Don't defend your position; keep the focus on their actions. You can play, too!
Sister: Why don't you want to spend time with my child?!
You: You're going away for a week. Seems like you don't want to spend that time with your child.
Sister: I'm a parent! I need a break!
You: Parents have a responsibility to care for their children. If you need a break from that responsibility, then you are required to make those arrangements.
Sister: You're being selfish!
You: This has nothing to do with me. If you insist on going away without tending to your parental responsibilities then you are being selfish. See? It's fun for all! Keep the focus on her choices; don't let her make it all about you.
Fartin_Scorsese wrote:
Wow, your sister's attempt to manipulate you deserves a polite round of golf clapping. *chef's kiss*
Two points for implying that you don't love your niece if you don't watch her for a week.
Two points for outright claiming you're selfish for not volunteering for this duty.
Two points for stating that you're the reason she's stuck for a babysitter.
Two bonus points for none of these being true.
You are definitely not the asshole here, but your sister definitely is. I especially love how she couldn't be bothered to ask any of this from you directly, or to try to work out a deal with you.
OP responded:
Yeah I don’t know why she didn’t ask me herself to start with, not that my answer would’ve been any different.
dangerous_skirt65 wrote:
NTA. Who the heck is your sister to just plan a vacation when she has a child to care for and expect her family to just take that on?
OP responded:
My parents probably would’ve taken it on if they weren’t working. They’ve basically become free babysitters because they never really say no.
Livia1116 wrote:
NTA Where is the little girl's father?
OP responded:
They aren’t together anymore and he still lives at home as well.
marilynmansonf*ckme wrote:
NTA. You don’t have experience looking after toddlers, so it would actually be potentially dangerous for Elise to be solely in your care for a whole week.
OP responded:
Yeah I told her I have no idea how to look after toddlers and she basically just told me it’s not that hard.
Forward_Squirrel8879 wrote:
NTA - It is her job as the parent to make sure she has childcare BEFORE she books her vacation and, if needed, to factor that cost into her budget. Her lack of planning is not your fault.
Sources: Reddit
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